Children of military families are impacted differently by family member deployments

  • Published
  • By Sandy Simison
  • 88th Air Base Wing Public Affairs
WRIGHT-PATTERSON AFB, Ohio --  Deployments and separations have become part of the military life. These absences present challenges for children, families and the deployed member. Younger children may not understand the absences. Older children sometimes feel increased responsibilities and burden when a parent is gone.

Deployment can affect children in many different ways - some children are able to continue on in their daily schedules and routines without much impact. Other children feel extreme stress by the absence of their family member, especially if they are particularly close, which could lead to behavior changes, poor school performance, and potential mental health disorders including anxiety, depression, or adjustment disorders. Some kids are impacted by the deployment and absence, but are able to express their feelings.

"During the 'Ready the Warfighter' pre-deployment briefings, the 88th Medical Group Pediatric Clinic provides information to deployers about stressors that families and children can experience during and after a deployment. Additionally, resources for coping during this time are shared including 88th Medical Group resources, Military One Source, and encourage utilization of Airman and Family Readiness resources. For deploying members who have children, a screener is completed on their children to determine a baseline-kind of a symptom checklist for their children. If kids come into our clinic during the time of deployment experiencing stress or if the parent has any concerns for their mental health and well-being, another checklist can be administered. Results can then be used to facilitate the resources a family needs during the period of separation and assist in the appropriate treatment tailored for the patients. Furthermore, since all members receive this briefing, even those members without children can be vigilant on the stressors that deployment has on fellow military members," said Lt. Col. Lauren Wolf, a Pediatrician at the 88th Medical Group.

To help deal with deployment, families set up times with the deployed family member via Skype, FaceTime, and many families are now using Periscope- the live streaming video mobile application purchased by Twitter in February of 2015-so that the deployed family member can be involved in activities at home such as sporting events, dance recitals, piano recitals, and family dinners, or just having it on in the background as the family goes about their day.

Each of the family members has roles and responsibilities not only for when the family is together but also when there is a deployment in the family. A lot of times the non-deployed parent will fill in the gaps. The pediatrician focuses on the mental health of children, looking at the stressors that the parent is having to see if there is any way to relieve that stress to help the home environment.

Another area affecting kids with deploying parents is during reintegration. When the deployed family member comes home to the family, the family unit has developed new patterns, new routines and covered gaps, so reintegrating the deployed family member can cause stress within those families.

The American Academy of Pediatrics and active duty pediatrics have studied deployment and its effect on children extensively.

"The support system here at Wright-Patt is very good. The Airman and Family Readiness Center is amazing," said Wolf. They provide free child care a certain number of hours during the deployment to help out the non-deployed parent for grocery shopping or just an evening out as well as other resources to keep families connected during the separation. The Chapel is another valuable resource during deployments. Reunion retreats are often held after deployments for couples or families providing a time to reconnect, she said.

Wolf and her family have experienced multiple deployments and extended TDYs. She notes, "All of our kids have a Daddy Doll, https://daddydolls.com-a company out of Michigan that makes a doll around 12 to 18 inches with a picture of the deployed family member. They have taken them on trips, slept with them every night during deployments and TDYs, taken them to church with them, and even to show and tell at school. Our youngest one right now is attached to her doll."

Another area of support that is provided is through the airlines. Many airlines support families taking deploying members to their departure gate and allowing families to meet their returning deployer at the gate upon return. Children enjoy preparing posters and signs to welcome their deployer home and meeting them at the gate.

Understanding both sides of the stressors for each of the parents involved helps families succeed during a deployment. The deployed family member might be missing everything at home, but the parent who is home is busy running around with everything. It is important for communication and empathy both ways.