WRIGHT-PATTERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Ohio -- “Go home, Nate!”
That’s a line I’ve heard from numerous commanders and supervisors on late afternoons or early evenings, while I was still in the office (working or not) after most of the team had gone home.
It was a phrase meant to say: “It’s OK, the work will be there tomorrow. Focus on family and friends. It’s time to call it a day.”
I had heard the work-life balance talk many times, but at the time, I did not understand how vital it was to a well-lived life. I was single my first 10 years as an Air Force officer, which meant late days at the office didn’t have quite the significance to family life as it does now.
In today’s Air Force, it seems like there are always too many tasks, requirements and duties to get done in a regular workday. In light of those priorities, however, we must find a way to make proper time for family, faith, friends, hobbies, service to others and rest. And make a way for our teams to do the same, setting the example.
I’ve had commanders who were always the last car in the parking lot and often on the phone till late in the evening, making it difficult to see them without an appointment. But I’ve also had leaders who went home at the same time as their team members.
I’ve known leaders in both camps I would consider great role models, and I do not believe you can judge how well someone accomplishes the mission based on the hours they work. The questions I ask myself are: Who do you want to be? Who do your Airmen want to be in the future?
I haven’t exactly done great in this area. If I’m honest, I know I need to do a much better job in both time management and making the right work-life balance. (Just ask my wife, Becky)!
Because I need to grow in this area, I’ve made it a point to ask and listen to senior leaders, mentors and peers I respect about how they’ve met this challenge and enable the people they lead to do the same.
A few key takeaways I have heard: We need to refocus our priorities, if that is God (or faith), family, then Air Force for me—then I should live that out. How can we do that, especially if prioritizing family means being home for dinner and focused on my wife when I am home (instead of glued to the Blackberry or laptop)?
Time management can be a vital skill here. Blocking out time for family is just as important as critical tasks. Getting the most important things done for the mission and people first means we can leave at the end of the day at a reasonable time, likely without everything completed, but with what’s important accomplished well.
As a leader, delegating and trusting our fellow team members to accomplish their part can give us time to focus on the tasks only you can do. As a follower, we can let the chain of command know when deadlines are not achievable and what we need to get them done on time — without long days of late work.
Even doing all these things, and making time for personal tasks such as appraisals, we may not always be able to keep ourselves to an ideal 40-hour workweek. There are times when the mission is going to take extra effort — deployments, exercises, emergencies, and acquisition or research deadlines are just a few examples. But we must strive for work-life harmony.
Harmony means the mission is sometimes going to require extra time, and other times, we need to give that extra time and intention back to our loved ones. Include spouses, family (and friends) in team events whenever we can. Have lunch with your spouse, kids or a friend. Bring them into your office to meet co-workers.
Make time to disconnect from the job, take leave, and be with family or friends, things that are important to you outside the Air Force. This applies even if you are single.
One final point — give yourself and your team grace in this area. Your family understands the sacrifices (and the extra two or 10 hours) the Air Force sometimes requires of us, and your leadership will understand when you need to take time to focus on family. In both cases, communicate what’s going on with your family and supervisor.
When we do all we can for work-life balance, it brings us back in line with our priorities and enables us to show that to our Airmen. This is not easy, but it’s worth it.